Fast Food Frenzy
by DragonEye0905
Summary: AU; Ghirahim is at his favorite fast food restaurant, when Link walks in, and they have a little... disagreement. WARNING: OOC and childish humor/violence.


**A/N: So... another oneshot! If you did not read the warning, this is total crack, and I suggest you prepare yourself for high levels of awesomeness. Don't ask me what drugs I'm on, I don't know myself. I think it's just the sheer fabulousness of Ghirahim that powers my creative mind.  
**

**I was at Arby's today, eating a roast beef sandwich, and this idea came to me. What would happen if Ghirahim was trying to eat lunch at a fast food joint, and Link walked in? Seriously, what would happen?! It's too bad really... I was trying to write more of chapter 9 for Path Between the Ages, when I said to myself, "I should write down that plot bunny that came to me today." And so I did. Only, it's so amazingly ridiculous that I could not force myself to write in the serious tone that the story calls for at the moment.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Legend of Zelda  
**

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Ghirahim thanked the woman behind the counter and carried the paper bag she handed him over to an empty table and sat down. He pulled out the contents of the sack and set then down in front of him. He had a large fry, a triple paddy burger with cheese, and also an extra-large soda. What? A demon's gotta eat too ya' know.

Unwrapping the burger, Ghirahim was pleased to find that the cheese was all gooey, and the bun was toasted. Mm... just how he liked it. He opened his mouth wide, showing off his fangs, and was about to take a huge bite out of the juicy deliciousness that was his lunch, when the door to the fast food joint opened, and in walked, _him_.

Ghirahim nearly dropped his food, but he carefully lowered it to the table, and his eyes narrowed in a ferocious glare that would have scared paralyzed a Gibdo. Sapphire blue eyes stared back at him, and the owner of said eyes slowly made his way to Ghirahim's table, not once breaking eye contact.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Link growled at Ghirahim.

"Why, Skychild, do you even need to ask? I came here to slaughter all of the lovely employees and customers just for my own entertainment." Ghirahim replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Link's eyes went wide for a moment, but then his face took on a much more determined look than when he had entered the building.

[Does this boy not understand sarcasm?] Ghirahim thought to himself. When Link drew the sword out of its sheath a moment later, Ghirahim then felt rather irritated towards the green hero. [Apparently not.]

Link sliced Ghirahim's burger in half, and picked up both sides before Ghirahim could do anything about it, seeing as he was sitting down. Handing one of the halves to Zelda, who had walked up beside him, Link took a large, unnecessary bite out of the food. Ghirahim felt his face burn with anger. That had cost him ten rupees! And there his enemy was, taunting him by eating the food right in front of him!

"Ugh... Link, you know I don't eat beef, especially not when its covered in cheese..." Zelda whined, holding the hamburger as if it was some unknown specimen found in the trash.

"Well, then just throw it out. It's not like I bought it or anything." Giving Ghirahim him most smug look, Link finished off the rest of the burger, licking his fingers when he was done.

"Oh, Link. Are you going to eat these?" Groose had walked up to his buddy and was reaching for the fries on the table, helping Link torment the enraged Ghirahim.

"No, by all means, eat them." replied Link.

As Groose's hands were just about to grab the container of french fries, Ghirahim pushed himself back from the table, and loudly snapped his fingers, turning the buff, macho redhead into a white, squawking, long-necked bird. Yes, Ghirahim had turned Groose, into a goose. The demon had been merciful, of coarse, and had left the red pompadour on top of the animal's head.

Link, Zelda, and all of the other customers who were already scared by the fact that someone had walked in with a sword, stared in horror as Groose the Goose tilted his head to the side, staring straight ahead.

"Groose... are you all right? Say something buddy..." Link looked with worried eyes at the new form of his friend.

"SQUAWK!"

Link turned his attention back to Ghirahim, his blue eyes alight with murder.

"Turn. Him. Back... _Now_." The last word in his sentence was barely louder than a whisper, but it had more rage behind it than if Link had screamed it.

Ghirahim, still quite angry himself, replied in a snarky tone. "Or you'll do what, Skychild? Steal my food? Well, you're a tad late for that." Dark brown eyes locked with sapphire blue ones, neither one of them willing to be the first to break the connection. Link made a strange movement with his mouth, and before Ghirahim could comprehend when he was doing, the demon lord was hit between his eyes with a glob of saliva. Wiping the gooey substance off of his face, Ghirahim spat out his next words.

"That TEARS IT! How DARE you come in here, steal my food, and have the guts to spit in my face!?" Ghirahim brought his hand back, and swung it forward with such force, that when the back of his hand made contact with Link's cheek, Link was pushed back into a man who had gotten up to leave, spilling chocolate milkshake everywhere.

Horrified, Link looked down at himself, and shook with rage at the mess that stained his clothes. "Look at what you did to my tunic! This was my favorite tunic you maniac!"

"You forced my to do it. Now, apologize, and I might consider returning your friend to normal."

"Never." Letting out a battle cry, Link jumped onto a nearby chair, and then leaped through the air, trying to slash at Ghirahim with his sword. Ghirahim dodged, and dashed for the exit, not wanting to engage in combat in public. Link followed him, trying to get to Ghirahim through the crowd of hungry pedestrians that were in his way of the retreating demon. Jumping up onto the counter, Ghirahim snatched up the chicken sandwich that the woman was giving to a boy in a similar outfit to Link's, only yellow.

"Hey!" shouted the boy.

Ghirahim had no time to waste. A furious Link and an upset Zelda were closing in on him. Groose the Goose had wandered to the exit at some point before, and as Ghirahim fled through the glass doors to the outside world known as the parking lot, he quickly snapped his fingers again, returning the animal back into the muscular teen.

"Ugh... my head." mumbled the newly returned Groose.

When Ghirahim entered the safety of the parking lot, he sped off a small distance, turned back to see that Link had reached the exit, and was now speeding across the pavement towards him. Raising one hand above his head, and gripping the stolen chicken sandwich in the other, Ghirahim let out the loudest snap he had ever made, disappearing in a cloud of a million diamonds.

* * *

Ghirahim reappeared far across town, in his second favorite fast food restaurant. No one seemed to mind that he had magically appeared out of thin air, along with his signature diamonds.

[Well, it looks like I can't go there anymore... At least I'm safe here.] Ghirahim cautiously wandered over to a single booth, and sat down. Checking to see if Link had somehow managed to get there just as fast as he was able to, Ghirahim decided that it was safe to say that Link didn't know where Ghirahim was.

Unwrapping his the sandwich he had stolen from the boy at the other place, Ghirahim again was about to take his first bite of his lunch, when a tall, dark man with bright red hair walked up to him.

"Hey, scrawny. Whatcha' got there?" The man asked in a threatening voice. He was eying both the sandwich, and Ghirahim, his expression saying that if Ghirahim did not hand that sandwich over, there would be much pain to deal with.

[Oh boy... Here we go again...]

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**A/N: Well, laugh! Hahahahaha! Oh, you know that was good. Ghirahim just wants to eat, so lay off Ganondorf! You don't know what he had to endure to get that sandwich!**

**Next, see what happens to Tingle when HE goes out for lunch! No, just kidding... unless you really want me to. Ha, wouldn't that be something.  
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**Sorry for making Link such a jerk, and Zelda a snob. But I thought it was hilarious! Please leave a review on your way out! They're like tips! And I bet that Ghirahim is the kind of guy who would leave a tip for a waitress if he went out to eat! Strive to be like Ghira! Yay for Ghira! ^.^  
**


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